"Cowardice asks the question...is it safe? Expediency asks the question...is it politic? Vanity asks the question...is it popular? But conscience asks the question...is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because it is right." ~Dr. Martin Luther King

Monday, 15 May 2017

NEWFOUNDLAND DECLARES WAR ON USA

Forwarded: nothing to indicate I can't  share. I can't resist. 
President Trump was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. 
"Hallo, President Trump, " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!" 

"Well Archie," Donald said, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" 
  
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" 

Donald paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." 
  
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!" 
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " to acquire some infantry equipment! We have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." 

President Trump sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 
tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." 

"Lord above," said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." 

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. "President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!" 
  
Donald was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" 
  
"Jumpins, Lord tunderin! Two million, ye say!!" said Archie, " have to   call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Trump! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." 

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Donald. "Why the sudden change of heart?" 
  
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners." 

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN 

Senior Scholar
York University


5 comments:

Anonymous said...


Humour helps us get through the crazy days. Hopefully 45 has over reached himself now.

Anonymous said...


Check out the cover of the new Time magazine

Anonymous said...



Is there no sense of humour among your readers?

Surely a comment or two would be fitting.

Anonymous said...

19:09
Maybe all shell-shocked with the events to the south. It has been almost quiet - touch wood - while he is on his road trip. The lack of nightly twittering is good for the masses. But he could be getting ready to blow. The Missus smacked his hand away at the airport.

Anonymous said...

It is funny. Just as funny as it was written over 10 yrs ago when it was written for George Bush.